It's 4am now and i cant sleep!what's worse is that i've got work tmr morning!!urgh!!
Tried sleeping, but i'm too emotional now to even close my eyes.
Thinking of everything, tears in my eyes.
I feel stuck.
Stuck in this space where i cant move forward or even backwards.
No signs or clue to where i'm heading.
Plus there's nothing i can do.
I feel like a ultra loser.
Why cant i have a choice?
Why cant things be exactly the same as i imagine it to be?
Why cant for once my dreams do come true?What i want is so simple.But why cant i have it?
June seems so near. I know it's a high possibility i'm gg.
no interviews, no testdates, no confirmation.nothing.
Feel like just leaving and create my whole new world.
A world that gives me the chance to choose.To experience.
But am i able to leave everything behind?
Someone please pick me up from this horrible space cos I think i might suffocate at any moment.
Why must the climb be so difficult.
I feel like just giving up.Even my so called dream.Cos my dreams never come true.
Maybe May1st wont happen.And if it does,it will most probably end with humiliation and dissapointment.
so pessimistic, so not me.
But thats what is in my head now and i cant get it off.
should i just give up?
I want to be guided, not protected.
i know i said i'm not gna say anymore emo stuff.
But here i'm being emotional again.
Dun feel like sleeping. Just show up at work tmr with panda eyes.
But what am i gg to do until 9am?
And how am i gg to survive tmr?
tooooooooooodles.
